Are people getting in trouble with ChatGPT translations?

  Here is what google AI has to say about this:

Yes, people are getting in trouble using ChatGPT for translations due to "hallucinations"—where the AI confidently fabricates information, misses context, or mistranslates technical/medical terms. These errors can lead to serious consequences in professional, legal, or medical contexts, often because the output reads fluently but is inaccurate. 

Common Ways People Get in Trouble:

• Medical/Technical Errors: ChatGPT has mistranslated critical instructions (e.g., confusing "once a day" with "eleven"), which can endanger lives.
• Fabricated Content: The model may insert words or facts that were not in the original text, or skip over complex sections.
• Cultural/Idiomatic Misunderstandings: It struggles with slang, idioms, or low-resource languages, often providing misleading, literal translations.
• Data Privacy Violations: Inputting proprietary or personal company information into public AI models can leak sensitive data, violating company policies or legal regulations.
• Overconfidence: Users often mistake the fluency of the output for accuracy, failing to verify the results. 

How to Avoid Trouble:

• Never use ChatGPT for high-stakes, legal, or medical translations without human, expert review.
• Always treat AI output as a draft needing human post-editing (known as Machine Translation Post-Editing).
• Be specific in your prompts, providing context and terminology to reduce errors.
• Use professional tools

So, when you cannot afford hallucinations, check us out legaltranslationsystems.com

877 626-0642

DOES CHATGPT CERTIFY ITS TRANSLATIONS?

  Here is what Google AI has to say about certification of translations done by AI. 

No, ChatGPT does not certify its translations. Certified translations require a signed statement of accuracy from a qualified human translator or agency, which an AI cannot legally or professionally provide.

While ChatGPT can produce high-quality translations for casual or informal use, it lacks the accountability, accuracy guarantees, and official standing required for legal, medical, or government documents. 

Key details regarding ChatGPT and certified translation:

• Official Requirements: Courts, embassies, immigration officers, and universities require a human expert to take professional responsibility for the translation's accuracy.
• Risks: ChatGPT may produce literal translations, omit entire sections of text, or "hallucinate" (invent) information that is not in the original document, which can have severe legal or financial consequences.
• Best Use Cases: ChatGPT is effective for initial drafts, informal communication, and quick, non-critical understanding.
• Human Oversight Necessary: For professional, official work, any AI-generated text must be reviewed and certified by a human translator (a process known as Machine Translation Post-Editing or MTPE). 

If you require a document for legal or official purposes, you should not rely on ChatGPT alone and should use a certified human translation service.

In other words, no matter what uninformed people say, translations done by AI are useless for any type of legal or administrative proceeding. 

For certified translations of documents in European languages, look no further. We can help you  legaltranslationsystems.com

877 6260642

Are Per Page price translation sites legitimate?

 

The important question would be, do they honor the Per Page price?

 Actually, per page pricing has deception written all over it. 

This is an obvious bait and switch technique. Although these Per Page companies advertise in google and bing the low per page price, it is conditional to the number of words on the page, usually anywhere from 120 to 250. The trouble is, many documents have a larger number of words per page, take for instance the most modern version of the Brazilian birth certificate, which can now have as many as 470 words (by comparison, older versions had 170 words).

 Additionally, they insist clients send full documents, including stamps in the back. You might have guessed it: the 10-word stamp will constitute a page, so right away the cost is doubled, and you are paying US$2.25 per word.

 Others charge extra for notary, paper document and shipping service charges, in addition to the postal charges. So, very quickly the US$22.50 per page document becomes US$ 85.00.

 As for more complex documents, such as Court judgments, the situation is even worse. Let us say you have a very dense 10-page judgment, single space. A document like this can have as many as 600 words per page, depending on font size. So, while you expected to pay US$ 225.00 for the translation, it quickly becomes US$720.00. A lease can have more than 1,000 words, etc., etc..

 The same applies to uncertified text. Trouble is, once you are on their site, you are unlikely to leave and seek a better price, and they know how to manipulate you into thinking they are the best game in town. They may also tell you that is how everybody works. Not true, because we do not work like that.

 At legaltranslationsystems.com we do not play games with the client. You send the document for a quote without obligation, and it is a firm quote. There is never any additional charge.

#certifiedtranslation #certifiedtranslations #officialtranslations

Considerations when translating your birth certificate in the USA

 

In many countries birth certificates are standard documents. In some countries, however, they come in multiple forms:

 a) Birth certificates from Venezuela come in multiple forms, from a single handwritten document, to a form, to a document spanning multiple pages (with SAREN payment receipt, legalization, handwritten and typed document text, legalizations and apostil. Therefore, a quote request is always required.

 b) Brazilian birth certificates have evolved over the years. Older documents are simple, and latter documents have been issued in a form. These forms seem to be changed every couple of years. Additionally, Brazilian law also allows a civil registry in one state to issue a paper (or digital) document from another. This may result in refusal of document in the U.S.A. Additionally, for USCIS cases a CERTIDÃO DE NASCIMENTO DE INTEIRO TEOR (FULL TEXT BIRTH CERTIFICATE) may be requested. This is a narrative document, which differs from the form based documents usually issued by most civil registries.

 c) Cuban birth certificates come in two formats. One is a short form, front and back, the other one comes in a regular size page, with information printed in one side only. The presented information is the same. If you have the shorter version, both front and back must be translated.

 d) Older Soviet era birth certificates usually come in a shorth form presented as a simple booklet. These documents were issued in all former Republics, the documents being issued in both Russian and the Republic’s language.  The documents are handwritten and often impossible to read, requiring assistance from the client.

 e) Documents written in an alphabet other than the  Latin alphabet require transliteration. As words can be transliterated in different forms, it is necessary for the client to provide the correct transliteration used, to ensure consistency. This does not apply only to Cyrillic, Greek names can also be transliterated in different versions.   

 f) Mexican birth certificates also come in different formats, depending in the State where issued.

 g) European Union birth certificates are also issued for all countries who are member of the EU, written in French and the country’s official language.

 h) American birth certificates usually come in short and long forms. Before submitting the document  for a quote, check whether the long form is required. U.S. birth certificates are state, rather than Federal documents, so they vary from State to State.

 i) Argentine birth certificates tend to be handwritten. Some handwriting can be difficult to read, so client assistance is required.

 j) Birth certificates often come with incorrect data, such as misspellings of parents, grandparents and place names. We have also seen mistaken genders and dates. We cannot make any corrections: authorities check the information in originals and may reject the translation if it does not match the original.

k) Birth certificates from Haiti may also come in different formats. Some are handwritten in hard-to-read cursive, more modern ones are typewritten. Clarification from the client is often required.

 l) Birth certificates from several other countries often come in handwritten format, including Peru, Uruguay, Italy, Portugal, Colombia

 m) Birth certificates from Morocco, Tunisia and Algeria come in both Arabic and French. We do the translation (and certify) from French.

Should I hire a company that uses standard templates for birth certificate translations?

 In a nutshell, no.

 Usually, a standard template (a one size-fits-all table template, if you may) is used by people who are not qualified translators, such as multiservice companies. They simply create a table with name of person, date of birth, place of birth, names of parents, and other data they seem important, and fill it in. Such templates often miss out important information which is checked by the receiving authority (mainly USCIS) and results in the rejection of the cheap translation. You have simply wasted money.

 Additionally, these translations are often self-certified by a notary who “prepared” the translation. This is also improper. A  notary cannot certify their own signature,  resulting in the rejection of the cheap translation. You have simply wasted money.

 Rejection of a translation usually slows down processes, resulting in more costs and wait-time. Additionally, they may raise an unwanted and unnecessary red flag for the case.

 #USCIS #certifiedtranslation #notarizedtranslation #officialtranslation

 https://birthcertificatetranslated.com

Can notaries do certified translations?

 

Yes and no.

 Let me explain.

 To be sure that a translation will be accepted as certified, it should be properly certified by the translator, and his/her signature must be notarized.

 A notary cannot notarize his own signature. So, if a document has been translated by somebody who happens to be a notary and a qualified translator, his/her signature must be notarized by another notary.

 If the notary is doing the translation, signing and notarizing his/her own signature, there are a couple of options. a) The notary knows he/she cannot do it, and likely the document will be refused, so he/she is being dishonest. b) If the notary does not know he/she cannot self-notarize a document, then he/she is a bad notary, that does not know notarial law.

  Rather unfortunately we have had to correct that situation many times. Clients normally admit they did it with the notary because he/she was less expensive. Then they wasted time and money, and ended up having to do it properly with us.

 Remember, the certified translation should be notarized, and the translator and notary must be different individuals. Translations should be done by professional translators, not notaries or multiservice storefronts.

 A well- informed client is a good client.

 https://birthcertificatetranslated.com

https://foreigndocumenttranslations.com

https://miamitraducciones.com

Certified translations for academic evaluations and licensure from Italian since 1982.

For FCCPT, WES (World Education Services), IERF, FCSA (Foreign Credentials Svc of America), ECFMG, NCLEX, ERES Educational Records Evaluation Service), NAAB, NCARB, ACREVS, CAREE (Center for Applied Research Evaluation Education), CLARB, Modio Health, Evalcompany, IFCS (Institute for Foreign Credentials Services), California Architects Board, International Accreditation Service, Academic Evaluation Svc (AES), Educational Credential Evaluators ECE, Medtrainer, SDA National, Academic Credentials Evaluation Institute (ACEI), Alianza Academic Evaluations, Evaluation Service Inc, Foreign Credentials Svc of America, Increo Evaluations, Scholaro, SDR Evaluation Consultants, Ucredo, Global Language, International Evaluation Services, Lisano International, Josef Silny & Associations (JS&A), Florida Board of Education, Open Group, Naab (National Architectural Accreditation Board), NCEES, Educational Credential Evaluators, Educational Perspectives, Foreign Academic Credentials Svc, Global Credential Evaluators, Foundation for International Services, The Evaluation Company, Transcript Research, International Education Evaluation, International Consultants of Delaware, International Academic Credential Evaluators, Bruscan, The Evaluation Credentials, TBPES (Texas), State Bar Associations.

Request a quote to legaltranslationsystemsquote@gmail.com

https://foreigndocumenttranslations.com/french

#FCCPT #NAAB #NCEES #NCLEX

Certified translations for academic evaluations and licensure from French since 1982.

For FCCPT, WES (World Education Services), IERF, FCSA (Foreign Credentials Svc of America), ECFMG, NCLEX, ERES Educational Records Evaluation Service), NAAB, NCARB, ACREVS, CAREE (Center for Applied Research Evaluation Education), CLARB, Modio Health, Evalcompany, IFCS (Institute for Foreign Credentials Services), California Architects Board, International Accreditation Service, Academic Evaluation Svc (AES), Educational Credential Evaluators ECE, Medtrainer, SDA National, Academic Credentials Evaluation Institute (ACEI), Alianza Academic Evaluations, Evaluation Service Inc, Foreign Credentials Svc of America, Increo Evaluations, Scholaro, SDR Evaluation Consultants, Ucredo, Global Language, International Evaluation Services, Lisano International, Josef Silny & Associations (JS&A), Florida Board of Education, Open Group, Naab (National Architectural Accreditation Board), NCEES, Educational Credential Evaluators, Educational Perspectives, Foreign Academic Credentials Svc, Global Credential Evaluators, Foundation for International Services, The Evaluation Company, Transcript Research, International Education Evaluation, International Consultants of Delaware, International Academic Credential Evaluators, Bruscan, The Evaluation Credentials, TBPES (Texas), State Bar Associations.

Request a quote to legaltranslationsystemsquote@gmail.com

https://foreigndocumenttranslations.com/french

#FCCPT #NAAB #NCEES #NCLEX

PRONOUN MIXUPS: ANOTHER AI TRANSLATION SPECIALTY

 

By Carlos de Paula

 

It does not take much to realize that not all languages are similar. Sounds, alphabets, intonations are just some of the obvious differences between Russian and Chinese, for instance. But there is much more than that, much feared grammar. Some languages have articles, others don’t, some have declensions, many do not, several have tons of verb tenses, others have simple verb structures, so on, so forth. One area where AI translation often messes up is personal pronouns.

 

Take for instance Portuguese and Spanish, two languages where AI wreaks real havoc in the pronoun area.   

 

I have handled many AI edits to and from these languages, and AI makes a real mess of things, which can be troublesome in litigation documents, for instance. AI does have a problem reading context and seems to regard the use of gender in Romance languages a futile nuisance. This can even cause legal issues, when pronouns are wrongly translated and seem to identify the incorrect party. The longer the text, the worst the problem.

 

That is why a professional, experienced and thorough editor should be retained to edit any text translated by AI.

 

Carlos de Paula is one of the top Brazilian Portuguese translators in the USA since 1982. And now a top Portuguese and Spanish AI Translation editor as well. 

For information on translations of Prenuptial agreements visit http://prenuptranslations.com

 

TRANSLITERATION AND TRANSLATION ARE NOT THE SAME THING

By Carlos de Paula

 

Most translation done in the United States involves European languages whose alphabets closely resembles ours, the Latin alphabet, with a few differences here and there, mostly letters with accents.  However, everybody knows that many languages globally are written in different alphabets. Some, like Greek and Russian, share a few characters and look a bit like ours, while others, like Chinese and Hindi, are written in script that does not at all resemble our English alphabet.

 

Translating most texts between languages with different alphabets is a linguistic issue, however, translating names of persons, locations and places can be a peculiar challenge.

 

That is because a lot of transliteration has changed in the last few decades. Case in point, Mao Tse Tung became Mao Zedong, Bombay became Mumbai, Alma Ata, Almaty, etc. There has been little change in Japanese transliteration: Nakamura is still Nakamura, Nagoya, Nagoya, so on, so forth. That is because Japanese is a syllabic language.

 

Transliterating a simple person’s name in alphabets that resemble ours can be a nightmare. For instance, when I was writing a book on car racing in the 70s, the last name of a Greek driver appeared spelled in four different ways in non-Greek literature, so it was up to me to choose a transliteration.

 

In immigration cases this can have devastating outcomes. Whenever I receive a document written in a different alphabet I ask the client to provide the spelling appearing in US visas, passports and the like. Believe it or not, a simple “iy”, “ye” or “ii” ending can cause all types of trouble for a client.

For more information http://birthcertificatetranslated.com

JUST HOW GOOD IS AI TRANSLATION?

By Carlos de Paula

 

I have been exposed to machine translation from the very beginning, so in the 90s I had already tried computer software in a few language pairs. To tell you the truth, they were all very bad back then.

 

However, time flies when you are having fun, and it does the same when you are not. With time translation software has become better, I must admit. However, most AI translations still sound like AI text, devoid of style and life, incapable of understanding figures of speech, cynicism, irony, humor, nuances, and the proverbial text between the lines.

 

However, I knew that sooner or later it would be widely adopted as a tool, so in the last couple of decades I continued to study several software titles in myriad languages.

 

As it stands, AI produced translation still has a major problem: it reads context very poorly. That, in certain languages, can have disastrous consequences, for the same word can have different meanings in the same language, for instance, “recurso” can have several meanings in Portuguese. This can cause all types of nasty havoc. Embarrassment is one such problem. Legal issues are more serious, for, to this day, the most popular AI translation tools around make positive negative, and negative positive, with disturbing frequency. This in a contract can lead to litigation, great expense and loss of face.

 

Not only that, AI frequently picks up the wrong translation for a given term, often leading to hilarious renderings. Again, translation software fails to connect the dots where the dots are often very important.

 

Another problem is that AI translation works reasonably when text is well written. As writing skills are in short order these days, AI is often used to make sense of the senseless, haphazardly put together, ghastly collections of words. A badly written text will sound wacky, bizarre, after being put through translation software.

 

In short, commercial planes are flown by automatic pilot for the longest part of a trip, but qualified pilots have to take-off and land the darn things. It is no different with translations.

 

Let us face it, one cannot stop the wheels of commerce. Businesses penny-pinch as much as possible when it comes to translation work, it has always been so, for it is often seen as nuisance.  Now that it is available a few clicks away, for free, the perception is that we translators have been highway robbers all along.

 

I saw the writing on the wall and specialized in editing AI produced translations, for it is the future of the written translation industry, whether we like it or not. I have been able to turn atrocities and inaccuracies into good and precise text,  even making them enjoyable. When a client comes to me with “a translation he did”, I already know what that means. I only draw the line on certified document translations: I do not accept AI done translations prepared by clients, after all, I have to certify that I did it. Those are done from scratch.

 

Whether AI will ever reach perfection is debatable. Brazilians, for one, like to be witty, and AI fails to handle wittiness all that well, so that a culturally competent editor will always be necessary. In other words, rather than making it my number one enemy, I decided to coexist with it. We translators have no choice. I am not that handsome to become an influencer.

 

Carlos de Paula is one of the top Brazilian Portuguese translators in the USA since 1982. And now a top Portuguese AI Translation editor as well. 

Tourists staying away from Miami Beach in droves - one the reasons why

This Saturday, I decided to eat at Lincoln Road. I know most locals think of eateries there as expensive tourist traps of questionable quality, but there are a few good places, such as Cafe Nexxt, where my wife and I planned to have an inexpensive, honest and nourishing lunch.

So we drove to the nearest South Beach  parking lot, the large public parking across from City Hall in 17th Street. Until recently, the rate was US$ 1.00 an hour. They boosted it up to US$ 2.00 an hour a few months ago. Still not bad, considering there are places that charge as much as US$50 for all day parking. When we got there, although the lit sign said OPEN, there were two orange cones blocking the entrance.

I found that peculiar, because the city has been quite empty the last few weeks. The other day I found parking in the 7th Street Lot without any problems, in one of the first levels, on a weekend, too.

The 17th Street lot has two peculiarities. Tons of spaces are taken up by City Government vehicles. Not too sure that there is no other place for city vehicles to be parked by the dozen, they certainly might be more inconvenient for city workers. The fact is, dozen of places are taken up by them every day, not bad when the city is empty, very annoying when it is full.

The other peculiarity is that elevators are often not working. Al least the ones facing Lincoln Road. Wonder if the ones facing town hall are out of order - the only time I try to use them because the ones  facing Lincoln Road were all broken, they worked fine. Just a coincidence, I reckon...

So it seems that the lot is managed not for tourist and resident convenience, rather, for city workers' convenience. 

As there was no one around to explain the orange cones, I decided to park in the New Symphony Parking Lot, which is just across from the street, and have used in the past. Tons of spaces. No problem.

When I came back, after a two-hour lunch, problem, BIG PROBLEM. I found out that the rate for that day was a flat US$ 15.00...Then I found out the information posted in a barely legible and small sign, with a very light green background and white letters. Anybody that knows a little bit about graphics, will come to the conclusion that the signage was designed with  the intent not to be seen, specially under the sun. Red colors or a darker background, plus a better position would ensure the prospective client was better informed.

New World Symphony - Public Parking with a difference

So, my inexpensive lunch suddenly became US$ 11.00 more expensive.

Parking woes in Miami Beach, involving private tow companies Beach Towing and Tremont Towing are reported by the hundreds. However, when the city government seems to be playing numbers games with parking figures and signs, you realize that tourists might be getting tired of getting the shaft from a city that is treating tourists (and residents) badly.

Incidentally, there was no major event in Miami Beach at all to warrant such "Flat Rate" all day, and Lincoln Road was quite empty. So that a huge convention center might not be the answer, after all.   

The plight of the foreign Physical Therapist in the United States

It is a known fact that the U.S. population is getting older, and the demand for services to an aging population is increasing with every passing year in the country. Physical Therapy is among such services, meaning that the demand for these professionals is increasing all over the country. Job surveys and lists of future good careers generally include physical therapy, for the very same reasons stated. However, U.S. physical therapy graduates are not keeping up with the demand, which means that foreign physical therapists are being called to fill the gap.

The first step for a foreign physical therapist is getting a degree validation from specialized agencies such as FCCPT and ICA, which analyze the transcripts, degrees and syllabi and issue opinions which are widely recognized as authoritative. From that point on, it is up to individual state regulatory and licensing agencies to approve the applications or require the applicant to obtain more credits. So it is a good idea for the foreign physical therapist to find out which agencies are acceptable to the regulatory agency of the state where he or she lives, or intends to live in. NACES members, for instance, might be accepted in one state, not the other.

 

For physical therapists from countries such as Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand and India, and countries that issue syllabus in English, things can be easier, for their academic documentation does not require translation. That is not the case of documentation of physical therapists from other countries. While translating transcripts, diplomas and certificates is not very expensive, course outlines, or syllabus are long documents that can run from a few dozen pages to over 400.

U.S. university syllabus are generally very concise documents, in fact, sometimes each subject can be summarized in a single paragraph in the most extreme situations. That is not the case of syllabi from a number of countries, where even a single subject can run over 10 pages.

A quick search for translations on the internet returns a number of companies with flashy and modern looking websites that provide “per page” pricing that, at first, seem to be a good deal. A lot of these companies are Silicon Valley startups which are, in general, unfamiliar with the specifics of translation work, in spite of their claims, and are based on marketing strategies and technological platforms which not always favor the client. These “per page” prices can range anywhere from US$ 19.95 to US$ 33.00 a page.

However, before even considering hiring such companies, one must look closely into such price structures for a very long document. The per page price does not mean pages with unlimited number of words, you will soon find out. In fact, the advertiser that charges US$ 19.95 a page defines a page, in very small print, as having 100 words. However, most document pages have way more than 100 words, and many syllabus pages have more than 500 words. Other companies define a page as having 250 words, and change pricing to per word after the threshold is met. This means that a lot of the syllabus pages do not even qualify for the seemingly low “per page” price. When the maximum threshold is exceeded, these companies normally charge between US$0.10 to US$0.12 a word. Yet, they still charge the “per page” price for pages with little text. So, a 400 page course outline, not uncommon, can cost a very hefty US$12,000.00 or even more.

The fact is that the vast majority of translation companies and individual translators in the U.S.A. are not familiar with the validation and evaluation process, so they price the entire document, which is a waste of your time and money, and makes the evaluator’s job much more difficult.  Far from the author suggesting these companies do this because they want to deceive and overcharge - I would say it is sheer ignorance.

So the best  alternative is seeking a specialist, such as Legal Translation Systems, which is located in the Miami area and has been doing this specific work since the 80’s. “Evaluators seek specific information on a syllabus, and a lot of it can be omitted. When we price a job, we only include the information required by the evaluators, who appreciate our effort. Recently, a client was quoted US$8,000.00 by a major Miami translation company, we did it for only US$3,200.00,” says Celia Pieroni, a manager. Pieroni also says that “physical therapy syllabi translations have to be prepared by an experienced translator, because the originals often have dozens to hundreds of mistakes, so the translator has to be very familiar with the specific terminology and make adjustments.”

The downside is Legal Translation Systems is a boutique company, which does all work in-house so it is limited to translating documents from Spanish, Portuguese, French and Italian. If your document is written in a different language, such as German and Dutch, you have a long process ahead of you. I suggest you visit the American Translators Association website for translators of other languages. Look for science or medical translation specialists.

In regards to the closing of Surfmed Pharmacy in Miami Beach

I am not a fan of large chain stores. Take, for instance, office supply stores. The other day I went to buy a bona fide stationary item at Office Max, and guess what, they did not have it. Not a very uncommon item, I might add. However, should I be inclined to stock up on popcorn, candy, Coca-Cola or toilet paper, I could buy loads upon loads of it.

Back in the old days, you could walk into a stationary store, and pretty much find thousands of stationary articles. Sometimes I wondered where they found room to stock everything, but they did. They were really specialized stores. Then Office Max, Office Depot and Staples came along and simply decimated the stationary business. We are stuck with them, really, them and their popcorn, candy and Coke.

The trouble with this is that you can find popcorn, candy and Coke in thousands of other stores, but how about some stationary guys??? Who run these stores, by the way? Probably some 21-year old high school graduate, not very well versed in office goods, who is glad to be called manager to impress girls and makes $ 8.23 an hour.

Pharmacies pretty much follow the same pattern. The other day I read an article in Forbes magazine that provided the number of CVS stores in the USA. I almost fainted. Actually, in this neighborhood there are Walgreen stores almost every 1000 feet, it seems .

Do I shop in these pharmacies? Sure I do. For one, insurance companies cut deals with the chain pharmacies, and I suppose, leave out the few independents out there sucking their thumbs. I am stuck with CVS, in that regard, cannot really buy prescriptions anywhere else.

CVS and Walgreens, like the office supplies stores, are well stocked up in items such as high sugared drinks and candy/food, alcoholic beverages, and tons on non pharmaceutical or medical items. And they simply drove Miami Beach's Surfmed out of business.

"Joans, business is a Darwinian thing, the survival of the fittest". Here is the trouble, CVS and Walgreens, with all their junk food, booze, and in Walgreens' case, cigarettes (at least CVS dropped that product from their offerings), fail to provide surgical items, or specialty medical goods, which Surfmed sold. These are more related to their supposed core business, Pharmacy. But no, they drove the one store that sold this product in an area with a large elderly population, but are obviously not intent on selling this type of product.

So, you see, large is not always best.

Congratulations Miami Beach Government

Sometimes I tend to be overly critical, so let us give kudos where kudos are due.

Today, I saw that MB government can be very efficient indeed! I was parked at the public parking lot at 72nd and Collins, with a validated sticker until 3:55 PM. I kinda forgot about time, and when I returned to my car, there was one of those US$18.00 parking tickets. Well deserved, after all, I was paid in until 3:55 PM. My surprise was finding that the ticket had been written at 4:05, only ten minutes after my validated time!!!

I was dumbfounded by such efficiency. It took the zealous parking guy (or gal) only ten times to find my violation!!!

On the other side of the story, the same parking lot is full of ticket dispensing machines that work whenever they want, sometimes, never. Apparently, the city is very careful about sending employees to find cars that bypassed the allowed time by a mere ten minutes (having paid for six hours, by the way), yet, nobody obviously checks those dispensing machines, which would not be a difficult thing to do. Placing an OUT OF ORDER sign would be a nice thing, for, at times, I have had to try four different machines to get a ticket, walking around the lot like a zombie.

The non-working machines also sprung up a new industry. Every once in a while one can find a few folks of questionable pedigree hanging around in the parking lot, offering "help" with the machines. After "help" is provided (often telling tourists the machines are not working, duh!), they ask for money. This is obviously adding insult to injury. Plus people that openly solicit right on the parking lot, with open liquor containers, without any police intervention whatsoever.

How about the corner of 71st and Harding? I have seen MB crews working on the storm drainage system there, on and off, and they never get it right! In fact, once somebody hit a sewer line that literally spread feces all over the place. A recent heavy rain caused the whole area to be seriously flooded.

I know. Giving out parking tickets means revenue for the city. Checking out on broker dispensing machines, loitering on parking lots and storm drainage does not. I get it.

Let me rephrase. No congratulations, MB. Shame on you.

Miami New Times, where hipocrisy never stops

A recent edition of the Miami New Times had an article signed by Michel E. Miller, entitled "Porky`s Revenge". This was a follow-up to an article published in 2012, concerning an American who had been jailed in Panama.

In the third paragraph, the author says "Galeota admits he's done bad things, such as running Miami`s most infamous strip club, Porky`s, for years before moving to Panama and opening a brothel".

So, while the article says that strip clubs and brothels are "bad things", the New Miami Times is undoubtedly the largest promoter or smut in Miami EVER! The last pages of the paper are filled with ads of "bad" strip clubs plus tons of smaller ads for Oriental Massage spas, which a lot of people say, are nothing more than mini-brothels. Thus, we assume that the paper cares very little about bad things in the community, in fact, it might be highly responsible for a large share of condom sales and STDs in Miami!!!

The problem is that the NMT spends tons upon tons of paper uncovering all types of corruption that happens in this area. Maybe, by taking paying ads from "bad things", the paper lacks moral standing, if I dare say it, to criticize corruption, another bad thing, at all levels. After all, even the most stringent protector of civil liberties will not say tons of strip clubs and massage parlors are good for a community!

I do not at all recall the paper running an expose on such massage parlors or even the activities of such strip clubs, although it takes direct hits on political corruption, business in general, not for profits, religion, card readers, car dealerships, gambling, universities, criminals, sports franchises, artists, celebrities, real estate developers, police, etc.  

Sure, the paper and the author might actually say that Galeota was the one referring to brothels and strip clubs as bad things, that this did not reflect the paper's view. Or they might say running strip clubs and massage place advertisements does not mean they condone or support these businesses, that they will take an ad from any legit business. I wonder what would happen if a church attempted to place an ad in the NMT....

Shame on you Experian

Nothing against credit reporting agencies. I believe they serve a noble purpose in society. Not to say that I did not have problems with them. A couple of years back, I found that my credit report contained a couple of issues (fully resolved, not a cent due for many years) dating back almost 20 years ago,  plus a tax lien that should not have been there, for it was also mistakenly filed by the tax authority, which by the way, was not even federal. Beats me how much communication there is between creditors and bureaus, once matters do get solved. Apparently, not much.

Notwithstanding this contretemps, I do not loathe them as enemies. They help  a smoother running society, I always thought.

The other day, I decided to get my free copy of a credit report, which I am entitled to once a year. I kept on getting calls from a collection agency, calling my name, however, the last four digits of the SS were different. Just in case, I thought I should check.

That site run by the three major agencies was of no help. It kept on asking questions that made no sense, and when I replied them in the negative, I was told I needed to provide more identification for security reasons. That raised a flag, so I went to the Experian site.

On that site, I was told I could get a US$1 Credit Report immediately. Hey, almost for free, good deal. I just went for it. Of course, there was a catch. I would be charged 1 buck for that report, however, that meant I would agree to subscribing to a service they offer for 17 bucks and change a month. I could cancel the subscription within 7 days, though, and nothing would additional be charged.

So I decided to do it. These are the folks that oversee credit in the USA, they would not play hooky, would they? I signed up for everything online. Easy as a breeze, and my credit report was clean, good credit rating so I was happy as Madonna when she says something stupid. All I would need was remembering that I had seven days to cancel the US$204.00 annual additional expense I can do without - yes, 17 bucks a month adds up to about 204 dollars annually.

My memory has not gone to the dumps as much as I thought, and seven days after I signed up, I remembered that I needed to cancel the unwanted subscription.

Then, the first surprise.

As with most companies, signing up for things is easy. 1-2-3, everything on-line no problem. To cancel, though, it is an altogether different story. I needed to call a number, and you know what that means. Waiting on the line for quite a few minutes.

I decided that there was no way I would get stuck with the US$204.00 expense that would probably go on forever, or at least until my credit card expires. So I waited, and waited, then I got this cheerful female voice on the phone.

I explained my intent. Then she started telling me about the advantages, blah, blah, blah, blah. She was very pleasant, so I reconfirmed my intent, once again, and she continued babbling about how my life would be so much better with their service. Once I rejected the offer one more time, then she hit me. "Well, today we are offering nice subscribers such as you at 50 % off, with the same benefits".

That totally outraged me. These are, after all, the sparkling clean folks who are supposed to protect uf from crooks, yet, their flip flop tactic, although not illegal, is a bit immoral if you ask me. If they can make money running this "program", which is not really a program, the information is just sitting there, for 8 dollars and change, why offer it for 17? I do not dream of doing this in my business. I have my price, and I will just negotiate up to a certain extent if the client is extremely pushy, but I never do a switch and bait. This is the stuff of dishonest lemon-car salesmen, not a reputable credit reporting agency.

The one thing that really annoyed me was that she was trying to convince me that I was lucky enough that the offer was available TODAY! She was trying to convince me what a lucky human being I was, right day to call and cancel! Maybe I should recheck my lotto tickets!!!!

Well, the end of story is, I still rejected the offer, and gave the pleasant lady a pleasant piece of my mind, saying this was a despicable marketing technique, blah blah blah.

Is this the stuff MBA's are learning at Harvard?   

Oriental massage in the Miami area

Is this a problem that should concern us?

I do not know, I have never been to one of these places. The fact is that in the last few months, they have been springing about all over the place, in locations where they have never been set up. For instance, one has just opened at Collins in the mid 70s, another one in 71st Street, nearby Normandy place.

According to some, these are legit businesses, where an over stressed individual can obtain relaxing massage for little money. According to others, including Hollywood, I mean, film, Oriental massage places are nothing more than prostitution fronts, or prostitution light, if you may, where you can get massages with "happy ending".

Who is to judge? The fact is, I had to use massage therapy in the 90s for a condition. I used a few massage therapists, most of them were men, not very nice looking or sexy, and when I had to resort to women, they were not young and sexy as well.

The ads for all of these places show very young Oriental girls, leading me to think that perhaps there is more than muscle relief and therapy in mind.

Just a while ago, these places seemed to be hidden in strip malls at US 1 and other roads, and as I say, now they are sprouting all over residential neighborhoods.

It is nigh time the New Miami Times do an expose on the matter. The newspaper seems intent in unveiling all type of scandal and corruption scheme in South Florida, so maybe, it should do a story to elucidate the public.

The suggestion is made, however, I am not holding my breath. The newspaper that seems to want to moralize an overly corrupt South Florida has, after all, tons of Oriental massage places as advertisers in the back section of the paper. Most of them, again, have pictures of very young, sexy Oriental girls, not a single fifty-something, experienced masseur or masseuse, and offer things such as "table showers".

Thus it seems that the New Miami Times is highly unlikely to rock the boat with its dozen of Oriental Massage advertisers. That is, considering there is some type of sex-business angle involving them. If there isn't, then such a report might actually benefit the advertisers. If all they do is only provide soothing massage, with no ancillary "services" at hand (pun intended), then I might even become a client.

I would not dream of entering one of these places only to be faced with MB Police doing a raid, if you know what I mean.

If, on the other hand, the local press is not intent on discussing the matter for commercial reasons, then I have this to say. Corruption has several different guises, besides political.

The new Publix at North Beach

Call me grumpy.

I am not going to criticize the new Publix at North Beach, right in front of Canyon Ranch. No, it is a great market, clean, spacious, with great selection. Publix prices, you know, not the best, in spite of what they say. The local hispanic markets and the market at Collins and 75 have way better prices, but less variety.

Everybody, it seems, had been waiting for the market to open. Supposedly, it has more parking spaces than the old market, but apparently, at least in the first days of operations people from as far as Tallahassee are coming to shop here! The parking lot is mostly congested, and although sometimes there is a police car parked in front of the market itself, there is no one to guide traffic.

There lies the problem. The market causes bits of traffic jams, because there is only one entry and one exit. The architect who designed this should have designed an extra exit-entry, but nooooooooooo, there is a single one!! So there is a whole lot of impatience, horn blowing, and a few middle fingers and name-calling going on. Holiday spirit, Miami Beach style.

I wonder if once the novelty wears off, the problem will go away. I am not keeping my hopes up. I think this is a new problem we have to deal with in Miami Beach. 

A funny thing. Again, it deals with parking, always bloody parking...

The Place - not to be

I should have known better - I have lived in Miami Beach for a while.

I wanted to eat a burger, so did my wife. We decided to go to Ocean Drive, name to News Cafe, where we have enjoyed quite a few meals.

On the way, I saw a burger that looked very nice, at a place called - you guessed it - The Place. At 720 Ocean Drive.

The rest of the food looked wonderful, but I really wanted a burger, so did my wife. The price was 13 bucks and change. I ordered a lemonade and she ordered a diet coke.

The food was good. Good ingredients, nicely cooked, good presentation etc.

The big surprise was the bill. The drinks - served a single time, with no alcohol, cost a whopping US$12.00!. Yes, you read it, 12 freaking bucks for what amounts to sweetened water!

I suppose that if The Place,  at 720 Ocean Drive, needs a slogan it should be

"HOME OF THE 12 DOLLAR COKE"

First and last time I go there.